Nancy Marshall

I realize I've disappeared over the last week and probably will continue to for a few more days. Over the weekend a very close friend of mine passed away due to breast cancer. She was the director of my high schools musicals, but working with her as stage manager I spent enormous amounts of time with her and became her friend. Nancy Marshall was a true inspiration. She believed in me, but in so many others as well. She impacted every person she met. She taught many of us about professionalism and how to believe in ourselves and chase after our dreams. Nancy was a huge influence on my life and I feel like without her I wouldn't be the person I am today. I learned to be confident, fun but professional, serious but goofy and above all, to believe. Nancy is the first person to have passed away in my adult life. I know it never gets easier, but having only lost grandparents when I was very young, finding out that she was passing away last weekend felt like I had been hit by a truck. I have never experienced grief before, I have never experienced such true sadness. I cry at sad parts in movies, but this was the first time it was real life, something that didn't end when the movie was finished. I cried spontaneously for days. I'd be walking the dog, think of her and start to cry. My therapy was turning her into a piece of art. Drawing allows me to come to an inner calm, to accept and understand things I couldn't otherwise. I have never been an emotional artist, feeling paint at canvas to express my feelings. Instead for me the tranquility and stillness I achieve when I'm focused on a piece of art is more like a meditative state, allowing me to accept and understand my emotions. I have truly been able to come to peace with her passing, but I know she will be with me forever. She is never gone, she lives on in all of us. She lived the most incredible life and I can only hope that my life is just as amazing as hers.

Rest in Peace Nancy Marshall, Love is always stronger than Death and you will always be in my thoughts and therefore with me. I love you.